Restlessness

I find that falling asleep becomes a difficult process. My mind will race with “to do’s” from the day. It’s also the time when the nagging items I had forgotten about earlier in the day come storming back, the name of that book I was telling my colleague about, title to a song that I wanted to purchase, the fact that I forgot to make reservations for brunch on Sunday with the girls. Whenever I tell people about my night time restlessness I receive lots of suggestions.

This problem of mine began to escalate when I started traveling more and more. Then one day Netflix suggested an Indian movie while I was on the road. It was like heroin … subtitles while watching a very lively screen took up my entire concentration; 30 minutes in and I was sound asleep like a baby (45 if there was a dance scene).

At a recent dinner party, where the only one I knew was the host, I was called out on my strange foreign film knowledge. My recent addiction has turned to Korean dramas (aka K-Dramas). The stories are not very different from Lifetime movies; however, they target a younger age demographic. Some lines are definitely Asian, when a guy in a K-Drama was asked what he hoped his date looked like, his response was, “I hope she’s not all eyelid.”

I was sharing my strange obsession when a girl next to me at the table said, “You should totally watch Ilse the Water Whisperer.” I couldn’t resist. For those who want to get in on this YouTube sensation you can listen to a whispering woman tell you very mundane tasks that gently lull you into sleep, like reading to you a refrigerator manual. She even plays household made musical instruments; such as tapping and rubbing on a toilet paper roll. Her followers are very addicted, they demand more and more of her ingenious tactics and pay for sneak peeks.

Yet, as the night continued, I was startled to find how boring my addiction was, why watch foreign movies or listen to someone softly talk you to sleep on YouTube when you can hire a professional cuddler. Yes, you can hire someone to come over to your house and cuddle you to sleep. After much table phone research, we became quite enlightened; such as, there are certain acceptable cuddle positions, you can hire a certified cuddler, and they aren’t cheap, the going rate (from our table research) was $60/half hour.

As I was leaving my new friends I couldn’t help but role play a parents conversation over-and-over in my head, a father asking his daughter, “What would you like to be when you grow-up Amy?” and the response being “I want to be a professional cuddler.” I can’t mock someones dream. In reality, we all have dreams … some of us are just trying to get to that state by any means possible.

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